Loss of a Great Man
I have had a very hard time coming up with the will to write a post this last month. Life has had its ups and downs, and has dealt its fair share of lemons lately. I guess somewhere inside me I felt as though if I wrote about it, then I would have to come to terms with the fact that he is gone from our lives. He, my Grandpa, was always a major part of my life. My Grandpa was what one would think of when thinking of what a grandpa is or should be. He was the most kind, fun loving man you would have ever meet. He always had time for me, no matter what was going on, he loved me and I always knew it. I can only imagine the kind of father he was, because he was an incredible grandfather. My mom was lucky to have had such a great man to call Dad, he will be greatly missed!
April 11, 2013: my grandpa, my mom's dad, was brought home to live out his finale days. As I have mentioned in my past posts, he has been suffering from Alzheimer's Disease and recently started having seizures. The Neurologists have been trying to stop his seizures, but have had no success. The seizures are wearing out his body and mind. I know all to well what a toll seizures can take on your body, I have had seizures since I was 9 years old. They are mentally and physically draining on the body. The Doctor's have decided that it would be best to let him go home to spend the last few days of his life with his family. They took out his feeding tube and said it would be only 2 days before he passed. I was so relived that he was coming home, he has been so worried about my mom and has wanted to come home. His brain might not have remembered her, but his heart never forgot. He knew she was sick and that he wanted to be home with her. Also, my mom needed him close by so she could have some time with him. I can only imagine the mixed feelings she was having the day he was coming home, my emotions were all over the place. I couldn't wait to see him, but I had a fear of seeing him in such bad shape. My grandpa was always such a strong and healthy man, the thought of seeing him any other way was terrifying. I went up to be there with my mom, we waited together for him to arrive home. When he arrived home I went and hid in the kitchen, it was more then I could bear. Seeing him so weak, and hearing him make noises that sounded like he was doing some kind of chant, it was to much. He was so excited to be back home. As my mom stood beside him, he tried to tell her how pretty she was, he was always telling his girls how pretty they were. I am sure he was finally at peace being able to see that she was doing okay. He recognized my sons, and tried to say, "Come over here little one." He loved little children, and they loved him. The strength my mom showed that day and the following days is something I will never forget!
April 13, 2013: it has now been two days since grandpa came home. All of his children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, with the exception of a couple have been able to spend time with him. My mom has been there every day, and has been so worn down from all of this. She has become more weak and looks very ill. I am amazed at how my mom obtained the strength she needed to endure not only the side affects of her chemo, but also to sit and watch her father live out his last days here on earth. We were all so happy to be able to have this time with our father and grandfather. My mom, as did I, had a hard time leaving his side. My mom had to take breaks so that she could get her rest, I knew it was very hard for her to leave his side. But it was very important for her to stay well, for we all knew there would be a funeral soon.
My grandpa progressively declined that day. His breathing became very shallow and he did not open his eyes or try to talk at all that day. We all had our alone time with him that day. I had my oldest sit with me for a bit so that he could say what he wanted, I am so proud of him and how well he has handled all of this. Only being six years old, he has dealt with a lot this year, with his grandma having cancer and now this. He and my two year loved their great grandpa so much. My oldest said he loved that grandpa always teased him and made him laugh. My youngest also loved the teasing, and he could dish it right back! As I sat there alone with my grandpa, laying my head on his shoulder, all I could do was cry. I could not put into words all of the joy and happiness he had brought into this granddaughters life. All of the memories flooded my head, of him and I and all that he meant to me. I thought of the times, when I was just three years old, I would wait for him to pick me up on his way home from work in Nevada. Somehow I knew exactly when it was time for him to come. I remember hiding behind the door so I could scare him as he walked through. I remembered all the times he would rock me and sing his crazy made up songs, they had no words just funny sounds. The day of prom, he twirled me around the living room floor to teach me how to properly dance. Which was not the first time he had done that, I had often stood on his feet while we danced around the living room. And I could never forget all the times he told us how he had walked uphill both ways, in the snow too, to get to school. But all I could get out of my mouth was that I loved him, and that there could never be no greater grandpa then he!
My mom had her time with him that evening and then went up to her house to sleep. She had just put her pajamas on when we had to call her and tell her to come back, he had passed away. As she came through the doors of the house she had been raised in, everyone moved to the side so she could sit in the chair beside her dad. You could see the pain in her eyes, but you could also she the weight lift off her shoulders. He was no longer suffering, his mind was now as sharp as it once was. He was at peace, with his loved ones who had passed before him. Back with his sweetheart, my grandma. He had been able to make his journey back home, to spend the remainder of his days with his family, just as he had wanted!
The funeral was wonderful, so many people attended. He received military honors, from the Air Force.
I can only imagine how my mom had felt during this week long ordeal. The strength and courage she had mustered up to get through this all, it amazes me. To take care of the family, and all that needed to be done. And to her wonderful siblings that took such great care of her, thank you!
My mom and her dad.
April 11, 2013: my grandpa, my mom's dad, was brought home to live out his finale days. As I have mentioned in my past posts, he has been suffering from Alzheimer's Disease and recently started having seizures. The Neurologists have been trying to stop his seizures, but have had no success. The seizures are wearing out his body and mind. I know all to well what a toll seizures can take on your body, I have had seizures since I was 9 years old. They are mentally and physically draining on the body. The Doctor's have decided that it would be best to let him go home to spend the last few days of his life with his family. They took out his feeding tube and said it would be only 2 days before he passed. I was so relived that he was coming home, he has been so worried about my mom and has wanted to come home. His brain might not have remembered her, but his heart never forgot. He knew she was sick and that he wanted to be home with her. Also, my mom needed him close by so she could have some time with him. I can only imagine the mixed feelings she was having the day he was coming home, my emotions were all over the place. I couldn't wait to see him, but I had a fear of seeing him in such bad shape. My grandpa was always such a strong and healthy man, the thought of seeing him any other way was terrifying. I went up to be there with my mom, we waited together for him to arrive home. When he arrived home I went and hid in the kitchen, it was more then I could bear. Seeing him so weak, and hearing him make noises that sounded like he was doing some kind of chant, it was to much. He was so excited to be back home. As my mom stood beside him, he tried to tell her how pretty she was, he was always telling his girls how pretty they were. I am sure he was finally at peace being able to see that she was doing okay. He recognized my sons, and tried to say, "Come over here little one." He loved little children, and they loved him. The strength my mom showed that day and the following days is something I will never forget!
April 13, 2013: it has now been two days since grandpa came home. All of his children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, with the exception of a couple have been able to spend time with him. My mom has been there every day, and has been so worn down from all of this. She has become more weak and looks very ill. I am amazed at how my mom obtained the strength she needed to endure not only the side affects of her chemo, but also to sit and watch her father live out his last days here on earth. We were all so happy to be able to have this time with our father and grandfather. My mom, as did I, had a hard time leaving his side. My mom had to take breaks so that she could get her rest, I knew it was very hard for her to leave his side. But it was very important for her to stay well, for we all knew there would be a funeral soon.
My grandpa progressively declined that day. His breathing became very shallow and he did not open his eyes or try to talk at all that day. We all had our alone time with him that day. I had my oldest sit with me for a bit so that he could say what he wanted, I am so proud of him and how well he has handled all of this. Only being six years old, he has dealt with a lot this year, with his grandma having cancer and now this. He and my two year loved their great grandpa so much. My oldest said he loved that grandpa always teased him and made him laugh. My youngest also loved the teasing, and he could dish it right back! As I sat there alone with my grandpa, laying my head on his shoulder, all I could do was cry. I could not put into words all of the joy and happiness he had brought into this granddaughters life. All of the memories flooded my head, of him and I and all that he meant to me. I thought of the times, when I was just three years old, I would wait for him to pick me up on his way home from work in Nevada. Somehow I knew exactly when it was time for him to come. I remember hiding behind the door so I could scare him as he walked through. I remembered all the times he would rock me and sing his crazy made up songs, they had no words just funny sounds. The day of prom, he twirled me around the living room floor to teach me how to properly dance. Which was not the first time he had done that, I had often stood on his feet while we danced around the living room. And I could never forget all the times he told us how he had walked uphill both ways, in the snow too, to get to school. But all I could get out of my mouth was that I loved him, and that there could never be no greater grandpa then he!
My mom had her time with him that evening and then went up to her house to sleep. She had just put her pajamas on when we had to call her and tell her to come back, he had passed away. As she came through the doors of the house she had been raised in, everyone moved to the side so she could sit in the chair beside her dad. You could see the pain in her eyes, but you could also she the weight lift off her shoulders. He was no longer suffering, his mind was now as sharp as it once was. He was at peace, with his loved ones who had passed before him. Back with his sweetheart, my grandma. He had been able to make his journey back home, to spend the remainder of his days with his family, just as he had wanted!
The funeral was wonderful, so many people attended. He received military honors, from the Air Force.
I can only imagine how my mom had felt during this week long ordeal. The strength and courage she had mustered up to get through this all, it amazes me. To take care of the family, and all that needed to be done. And to her wonderful siblings that took such great care of her, thank you!
My mom and her dad.
Comments
Post a Comment